SOUL SISTERS.

FINGER MOUNTAIN, CO

We married ourselves on the mountain that day.. 

with no witnesses but ourselves & the road. 

the rocks our pew & the sky our canopy, 

hand in hand we vowed ourselves a love, 

greater than any other.

I, Lexis take you Tessa, to be my Soul Sister. I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness & in health. I will love you and honour you all the days of my life.

I, Tessa take you Lexis, to be my Soul Sister. I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness & in health. I will love you and honour you all the days of my life.

--

I, Lexis , take you Tessa, to be my Soul Sister, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part.

I,Tessa, take you Lexis, to be my Soul Sister, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love, cherish, and to obey, till death us do part.

 There were trails of bones leading up to the mountain,

it had ours for a moment...

but instead we left our souls.

UFO'S & GATORADE

SOUTHERN COLORADO IS WEIRD & FULL OF GRAM CRACKERS.

Gram Crackers [N.]- meaning: Grandmas on Crack

It wouldn't make sense if we ignored the "UFO GAZING" signs.

So we kicked up our feet in old worn hospital chairs, 

and waited for a scene from "Independence day" to unfold before our eyes.

 Needless to say, nada happened. 

so we migrated past the 20 year old german shepherd guarding the entrance, and made our way to the vortex. 

"The Alien Vortex" a place where your I-Phone compass spins like tea cups at disney, and you meditate on an unknown energy. 

--and not to bash gram cracker, but I'm pretty sure she's the only one that has ever "known" the energy.--

We were told to leave something in the Vortex, so of course Tessa and I pissed in a bottle and placed in on the feminist quarter of the vortex; because everyone knows nothing tops DNA.

 hands covered in pee and minds covered in disbelief, 

a few more dirt roads, and a couple hundred gators later we were in search of the "land of enchantment"

 We left the state of Colorado Making sure to sign it's guest book as Thelma & Louise, because words of Thelma "I don't ever remember feeling this awake"

Colorado, USA

BEHIND THE SCENES.

-Behind the scenes-

As a photographer, I rarely get the chance to sit on the sidelines in my underwear, observe a "behind the scenes" environment, and stuff my face with donuts.

I was lucky enough this past to week to do just that when asked to host a stellar crew of ladies in my home during a photoshoot for The Rock Agency.

I watched very talented Photographer Jessica Monte position her body up against & on every piece of furniture I own while sneaking bites of 7/11 donuts, Designer & Wardrobe stylist Jordan Hehn occasionally dance to Beyonce with jewels and fabric in and around her neck and mouth & Makeup/Hair stylist Jennifer Bruder treat the hairspray like a can a paint with the models head her personal tag space.

Impressed to say the least, Model Ashlie Severson kept her cool throughout the mist of "maximum hold" & a bunch of "dark roast" addicts. 

Shooting orders, 

tripping over your own feet, 

holding breath as long as shutter speeds, 

racing light,

reflecting light, 

balancing, 

contorting,

feeling emotions,

trying to express emotions, 

placing hands, arms, legs, 

acting out faces, 

feeling like an idiot,

acting like a crazy-person,

rushing, 

positioning, 

re-positioning, 

adrenaline.

I just watched them all watch her; 

Little did they know they were just as beautiful.

(in their element)

The Final Product

[pictured below]

Photo Credit: Jessica Monte

Its a beautiful thing really, 

expressing a personal feeling through a different face & body.

Somewhat of an out of body experience

who needs drugs when ya' got film and faces.

THE MOVIES.

12:43 PM on Friday the 12th

I remember a time when your boxers took up all the space in my underwear drawer. I remember a time, when you would come home at the crack of dawn, hands of ice all over my body. I felt like we were in a city of “US” and all the lights were so alluring, so pretty, distracting us both from flags of the color red. But who is to notice red when you are covered in sheets of white.

I close my eyes, some time after noon, my lids doubling as projector screens. A matinee. Steam hitting the kitchen window, you’re making meat; the humidity shaping black baby curls around your face, the heat. The neighbors must have thought our love was titanic, all the steam on all the windows. 

You always told me the movies were not real;

But I loved them anyway.

TWENTY FOUR.

24 HAS COMPLETELY MIND FU*KED ME

I realize I am no longer a girl but a woman “nesting” in a one bedroom apartment, with no diamond, no child, and no man which I find most women yearning for, which at age 16 to 23 seemed like a fuc*in dream to me too. Lately, instead of counting the minutes on my fertility clock I spend hours pondering all the reasons why I shouldn’t smash the shit out of it; Becoming fully aware there are no chains binding me to anything or anyone, I no longer see the perfect partner, the perfect place to settle, or the mini-me that at one time I so badly yearned for. The childbearing hips still reside, but no child. I see me, alone, in many unfamiliar places just passing through. I fantasize about beautiful faces I will soon encounter. I day-dream of their stories, lust for life and thirst for adventure quite like mine.

   

I then think of all the relationships I’ve lived in, trying to change that person's hair into the waves of the ocean, their eyes the stars I longed to gaze elsewhere, their body mountains I’d only wish to climb. Blaming them for not fulfilling my needs, blaming them for being human. Blaming myself for never being able to settle. At age 24, I’ve learned that the fulfillment I’ve been looking for is no longer in just one mind, one body, or one person for that matter, but in myself and myself alone.  

I am starving for new scenery and an intellectual conversation opposed to carbs and calories.  I am sick with an extreme case of the travel bug when the ones around me are in bed with the common cold. I sit here with symptoms of angst and freedom fever. I now pinch my pennies in hopes that Abraham Lincoln may sympathize with me, and teach me self-restraint along side wisdom to pursue this new life long journey.

“In the end, its not the years in your life that counts. It’s the life in your years.”

-Good Ole Abe Himself

BEYOND ME.

Some nights,

I felt as if you looked right through me.

I was there, 

but what was yearned for was beyond me.

..

Love(n): A compilation of ones emotions

my thoughts at 1:33 am on the 1st of December

TWIGS.

Maybe the beauty of abandonment, 

 is temporarily being able to fill something.

we shared the sunset, 

in bedrooms they use to fuck in. 

Dirty Nostaliga.

the sky was colored n' shaped like cotton candy...

leaving our imaginations to starve.

once again starving, for what isn't anymore.

full of the temporary bullshit.